It's so hard

I get it now. There's no longer any doubt in my mind.

You want me.

Maybe… maybe even as badly as I want you.

Nothing in my life has ever been this hard. It's never been so hard.

Because, I used to be able to tell myself it was fantasy. I've wanted you for so long now. So long. I figured I was tricking myself, seeing signs that weren't there because I wanted so badly for them to be.

And here you've been blasting signs at me all along… for this whole time? Or is it more recent? Does it matter?

It's so hard.

Because we want each other. But we can't have each other. Can't indulge, not even once. Can't step over those lines. Can't. Can't.

It's so hard. So hard. So damned hard it hurts.

Why, why is it so hard?